Tonight I Ripped My Pants

Because they were too tight
Because I have gained 20 pounds in the past 4 months
Because I cannot stop eating
Because I am trying to deal
Because I am depressed
Because my mom has lung cancer.

Just Make It Stop...

Everything seems unbearable.
I am completely overwhelmed.
I do not want to/cannot deal.
Please make it all stop, I beg of you.

Tomorrow will be better, yes?

The Only Thing I'm Sure of is Stress & Pain

I am really not sure what I want this to be. Scratch that.... I do know what I want this to be, I am just not sure if that is in the plans for me, and if so, the required time period for all of this to be realized.

On top of that, all of this is making me extremely tired and I nap very hard, but wake up an hour or so later, wide awake. I just want to sleep through the night. Now, I am drowsy, restless and in pain. My back aches so much....

The stress made Sunday so great... I got to see my Anitra and I did karaoke, which I have never done, but ALWAYS wanted to do.... Other things also made it nice...

My Monday brought me back to reality.... I really feel like I cannot deal with it all. 4 is such a high number.....